Fanfiction
by Mustardlover16
Summary: Dick and Barbara have discovered the wonderful word of fanfiction. Things get a littl out of control when the two start discovering fan fictions about one another's secret identities. Just a fun little friendship one shot. Mentions of adult material.


Nightwing took a running leap at the ally wall beside him, placing one foot high up on the wall and using all his strength to launch himself into the air, side flipping once, then twice as the sound of gunshots filled the air again.

A three point landing then a risky but flawless dive roll behind a dumpster provided Nightwing an opportunity to breathe as the all too eager guard of an illegal arms shipment warehouse continued spraying lead like his life depended on in-which, to be fair, his consciousness certainly did, if Nightwing had anything say about it.

A small chime in his earpiece let Nightwing know that someone was trying to contact him over the coms link. If Starfire hadn't been in San Francisco training some of the newest Teen Titans, Nightwing would've guessed it was her. As it was, he knew without a doubt who was calling at this hour.

Pressing a hand to the one side of his mask, Nightwing opened the line, risking a peak around the odorous dumpster that currently served as his cover. "Oracle. Now's really not a good time I-" Nightwing pressed his back against the wall as another hail of .22's blasted perilously close to his hiding spot.

"Where are you, you nimble prick?" A growling voice yelled over the gunfire.

"Wow, what did you do to piss this guy off?" Babs asked, amusement touching her voice.

"Dodged his ridiculously bad aim!" Nightwing yelled, loud enough so the goon could hear him. The more mad Nightwing could get him, the more unfocused and sloppy he would be. "Anyway, what do you need?"

"I just read the most horrible one shot about you, Nightwing. I thought you might be bored and in the mood for some light reading."

"You called me about fanfiction, Babs? Seriously?"

The shooting stopped and Nightwing listened closely. He heard the click of a magazine sliding out of the rifle and made his move. Two swift punches to the asshole's lower rib cage and a good old fashion heel to his jaw via a jack knife kick and the man was down and moaning before the magazine even hit the ground.

Dick was just about to walk his catch to the nearest police precinct when he heard footsteps from behind.

Dick scrambled to handcuff the arrestee to a rusty fire escape ladder, leaping onto the first platform after. He was climbing the stairs when Babs said gleefully, 'I'll let you wait to read it. All I'm saying is You. Slade Wilson. Bondage." Dick momentarily lost his footing as he reached the third landing of the fire escape, his elbow coming down hard on the metal railing and alerting the goon's pals below to his whereabouts.

"Shit, Babs. This really isn't the best time."

"There he is!" A bulky woman with bulging biceps that rivaled Nightwing's yelled from the ground below. Thankfully Asshole #1 only had two friends and they weren't as well equipped as he was, squeezing off a few rounds from glocks and making foul but empty threats toward the acrobat.

"I'm sorry, but I've hit the jackpot, Dick. I want to look away but I just can't!"

Nightwing took out Asshole #2, escrima stick colliding with the top of his head, forcing him to the ground where he lay still. He was unremarkable except for a curling snake tattoo that wrapped itself around his neck, head perched right above his left ear. Dick would have to check the national prisons database for that particular tattoo when he got back to the Nightwatch.

"And this one, it seemed normal at first, just a cute story about you and Kory, right? But then Kid Flash enters the picture and...lets just say that both you and your alien girlfriend know Wally West isn't as...fast... as his reputation implies."

"Gah, Oracle. Cut it out. I have potentially dangerous arms dealers down here and you're distracting me."

"Oh, you're distracted? At least you're not reading this stuff. I might never sleep again. Seriously, Dick. Have any of the villains we've fought created brain bleach yet? Because I'm in serious need of some."

"Stop reading it, if you're that scarred."

"What fun would that be?" Dick sighed as he leaped down onto Asshole #3, the butch woman with a potty mouth. His feet landed on either side of her head, snapping her left collarbone and forcing her to the ground with her other fallen compatriots. She yelled and cursed but most of the fight had left her, and Dick pulled two zip ties out of a pocket on his outer thigh, handcuffing the two unrestrained but subdued opponents.

Dick waited until he had dropped his suspects-along with a thumb drive full of evidence enough to put the three away for a few years- at the North Police Precinct in the Northwest corner of Bludhaven.

He threw one leg over his motorcycle, hands already reaching for the display screen on the front panel of his bike. He plotted the course to the Nightwatch into the bike, allowing it to take control of the steering. Meanwhile, Dick opened a file named "Ammo" and fired back at Batgirl, sending her the links to one or two particularly bad fan fictions.

The two had made a game of sending each other only the worst of fan fictions since they discovered fan fiction's existence. What had started as an innocent Google search had resulted in a months long game of trying to gross out or creep out one another. After the links had sent, Dick turned his attention back to the street and waited for the callback he knew he would get.

"Holy X-Rating, Batman! Who comes up with this stuff?"

Dick laughed, thumbing a control on the cycle to open the coms link, "Which one are you referring to?"

"The AU where Batgirl AKA Betty Johnson goes to Catholic school and learns things I'm sure the nuns disapprove of!"

"Ah, Betty, always getting herself into trouble, that one. The rascal."

"Thank God for secret identities."

"Just remember these wonderful stories I sent you, the next time you decide to call me about fan fiction on a mission, deal? Because I have plenty more where that came from."

"Don't mess with the fire, Dick. You'll only get burned." She was using her best Bat voice, a steel entering the usually soft, melodic tone.

"Challenge accepted, Barb." She couldn't see it, but Babs was sure that Dick wore his signature smirk.

When the two hung up, the first thing they both did was to pull up their most frequented fan fiction sites in search of more material for the next round

 **A/N: My good friend and fellow fanfiction writer came up with this prompt together when we were goofing off. We couldn't decide which one of us wanted to write it more so we both wrote a story with this prompt! Check out her story at /works/11490045**


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